The Sufferfest posted two days before Chrismas a contest for the Sufferlandrian flag for the best excuse why one was unable to ride on Christmas day. I took this as a writing challenge. Using my technology available to me and knowing I was only at home in the a.m. I opened Google Documents and began writing three letters to tell the story of my "suffering" on Christmas Day. I then set two alarms on my phone one for the afternoon and one for the afternoon. I had to do is cut and paste my Facebook posting with my phone (a little tricky with my fingers). This effort won the contest for me. I and freaked out my daughter and her friend when I came out of my office, yelling "YES, YES, YES, I won a Sufferlandrian Flag!" They had no clue what I was talking about. And after waiting a week my Flag has arrived! I have hung it, with GREAT honor, in my "pain chamber" and I'm ready to ride... But wait it was 8°C outside today! What's with that?
My first letter posted:
May it Please Your Honorable Dictatorship,
I have served Sufferland many years both toiling in the barren fields and diligently on my trainer. Many times I have done great for Sufferlandria.
Alas, I failed to win on my last foray into Angles, and in your graciousness have chained me to the wall of the cave of the Sufferlandrian Troll to have the honour of preparing him Christmas dinner. Due to this privilege that has been bestowed upon me by your honor, I will be unable to ride my trainer this Christmas.
Cordially yours,
David Tuttle.
I have served Sufferland many years both toiling in the barren fields and diligently on my trainer. Many times I have done great for Sufferlandria.
Alas, I failed to win on my last foray into Angles, and in your graciousness have chained me to the wall of the cave of the Sufferlandrian Troll to have the honour of preparing him Christmas dinner. Due to this privilege that has been bestowed upon me by your honor, I will be unable to ride my trainer this Christmas.
Cordially yours,
David Tuttle.
In the afternoon I posted this letter:
May it Please Your Most Honourable Dictatorship and My Glorious Fellow Sufferlandrians,
It has been brought to my attention by my most gracious host the Sufferlandrian Troll, that he owns all nine Sufferfest Video's (he still is a subject of Sufferlandria), and to my glory he has requested that I get on HIS trainer and do all nine on Christmas morning prior to preparing his Christmas meal. Technically I should bow out of this competition.
If it pleases you oh most benevolent Dictator and his most charming Mrs. Dictator, I would desire to remain in this contest as I shall be riding the Troll's trainer, not MY trainer.
Humbly yours,
David Tuttle.
It has been brought to my attention by my most gracious host the Sufferlandrian Troll, that he owns all nine Sufferfest Video's (he still is a subject of Sufferlandria), and to my glory he has requested that I get on HIS trainer and do all nine on Christmas morning prior to preparing his Christmas meal. Technically I should bow out of this competition.
If it pleases you oh most benevolent Dictator and his most charming Mrs. Dictator, I would desire to remain in this contest as I shall be riding the Troll's trainer, not MY trainer.
Humbly yours,
David Tuttle.
And my third and final letter sent in the evening:
Oh most Acclaimed and Wise Dictator,
In your infinite knowledge you must know what Toll's eat for Christmas. I shall as your humble servant suffer once again toiling labouriously and without complaint preparing this... um, whatever it might be. It is an honour to serve the Great Land of Sufferlandria. Thank you once again for this honour.
Who the H#!! am I kidding... I shall NEVER EVER give half effort again, PLEASE release me from this duty!
And I will always IWBMATTKYT from now till evermore.
Pitifully and groveling on my knees forever your Loyal Servant,
David Tuttle.
In your infinite knowledge you must know what Toll's eat for Christmas. I shall as your humble servant suffer once again toiling labouriously and without complaint preparing this... um, whatever it might be. It is an honour to serve the Great Land of Sufferlandria. Thank you once again for this honour.
Who the H#!! am I kidding... I shall NEVER EVER give half effort again, PLEASE release me from this duty!
And I will always IWBMATTKYT from now till evermore.
Pitifully and groveling on my knees forever your Loyal Servant,
David Tuttle.
OK, now for those of you who have never ever heard of or tried a Sufferfest, then you won't get the point of the letter. It has evolved, the land known as Sufferlandria, out of the on screen prompts and the Facebook Page. The videos have established that it is a poor impoverished country of where suffering is a way of life, with a King and Queen and David McQuillen (the creator of Sufferfest) is the Dictator, OH! and a troll.
And finally IWBMATTKYT! If you want to know what that means head over to The Sufferfest and find out for yourself.
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